Childhood Deficits

About the deck

A deck about what was missing in childhood and what a grown person is still looking for in others.

The deck holds 160 metaphorical associative cards. Eighty illustrations show situations from childhood: what was missing, or what others had and the child did not.

The other eighty cards are strips describing those deficits in words, the ones that shaped later life in one way or another.

The task of the deck is to help a person find their deficit, connect it with how they behave today, and fill what was missing from an adult position.

A deficit is rarely felt directly. More often it shows in behavior: in an excessive need for approval, in being unable to ask, in holding on tightly or, the other way round, in not knowing how to receive.

The deck can be used as a deep diagnostic, clarifying, deepening, transformational and supporting tool in counseling, therapy, training and psychological transformation games.

With the “Childhood Deficits” deck you can

• find the deficits that were there in childhood
• understand how one particular deficit shapes your life today
• see the reasons for your behavior in situations that repeat
• understand how to fill what was missing and close that hole
• find a new reaction to an old situation and make it stick
• heal a childhood wound in a gentle way
• find the explanation for painful sensations that seemed to come from nowhere
• notice what a person still demands from those close to them instead of from their parents
• tell a real need from the way it is being compensated for
• stop living from lack and start living from enough

Questions to ask the deck

Work starts from these questions. Choose one, the one that speaks to you more strongly than the rest, and work with it, because only one deficit is worked through well in a single session.

1. What did I miss the most in childhood?
2. What are the main deficits of my childhood?
3. Which deficit gets in my way now?
4. Which situation in my life needs putting right?
5. Which deficit can I fill for myself?
6. Which situation from the past is worth rewriting?
7. How can I look at that lack from an adult position?
8. What have I had for a long time while still feeling the lack of it?
9. What do I expect from those close to me instead of from my parents?
10. What do I do to keep from feeling this emptiness?
11. What would my life look like if there had been enough of it?
12. What can I give myself today?

The whole series

“World of the Inner Child” is 12 decks that work as a single system: anchors of the past, deficits, childhood influences, psychological defenses, healing, beliefs, limitations, resources and pillars.

See the whole series →